Some Thoughts on Mr. Arafat

During lunch today, the subject of Yassir Arafat came up in discussion. There were two particular aspects of Mr. Arafat's life, both professional and personal, which raised questions in my mind...

1) One of my lunch companions commented that it is quite remarkable, given Mr. Arafat's past behavior of lying to, stealing from, cheating and murdering his own 'people,' that they still want him as their leader. My companion claims that such a situation would never happen in this country.
My question: Would it make a difference if Mr. Arafat cheated on his wife with an intern?

2) Having raised the subject of matrimony, the many years of physical separation between Mr. and Mrs. Arafat was then pondered. One lunch companion made an irreverent remark about Mr. Arafat actually being married to a camel.
My question: When he got engaged to the camel, did he have to pay for it in women?

Happy Happy! Joy Joy! #4

This just in...one of my birthright buddies, who never left Israel with the rest of us, just got engaged! Mazel Tov, Nechama and Jason!

One year, and two engagements later...who will be the next to fall?

Happy Happy! Joy Joy! #3

Thirty-one years ago today, my parental units stood under a chuppah and pledged their troth. (What exactly is troth, by the way? And what did they pledge to do with it?) And, this blog is pleased to report, they're still happily troth-pledged, for which I personally am grateful. There are many, many people out there, far stranger than the parental units I currently have, whose offspring I would never want to be.

Anyway, happy anniversary to my parental units! 31 years, and still going! And, as my male parental unit likes to say, that's longer than most murderers get!

Vampire Puppets

(Note: This is not the funny post I meant to put up. That post is lost and gone forever.)

I went for a walk with Gila last night, and (not surprisingly) got into a conversation about the various supernatural shows of the WB. In particular (but in no particular order), we discussed the current events, stupid plot moves, inconsistencies, and favorite characters/scenes from Charmed, Buffy, and Angel. Most of the conversation does not need to be recorded here.

However, I was reflecting on one part of the conversation, in which we discussed a recent episode of Angel which involved everyone's favorite dark, brooding vampire getting turned into a cute, fuzzy hand puppet. It was damn funny, particularly when puppet Angel says "I'm made of felt...and my nose comes off!"

However, it's also a little disturbing. What has television come to, when in order to compete with preposterous reality TV, supernatural TV shows have to delve into the "extremely silly and not even remotely possible" realm. A vampire turned puppet, fighting against wicked, nasty soul-stealing demons?

That's about as likely as me being on American Idol.

I Had Something Funny To Post

But I forgot what it was.

At least I just wasted a few seconds of your life. That's kinda funny...

Excellent, Smithers!

Another blog has been born to plague this world.

Perhaps my plan for world domination isn't going so poorly after all.
(Insert evil laugh here)

My Astonishing Mental Powers

So the jogging thing hasn't been going so well this week. The Purim festivities interfered with my Sunday schedule, and then sheer exhaustion (anyone want some insomnia? I've got plenty to spare!) prevented me from waking up in time yesterday morning. Today's early wake up didn't happen either. So now I've missed two (2) workouts.

Yet, strangely enough, muscles that weren't sore all weekend are sore now. I also have some bruises, and have no recollections of bumping into any furniture lately. So I'm left with two (2) theories:
1) Someone has been sneaking into my room and giving me these mysterious bruises, OR
2) My mental powers are so great that merely thinking about working out produces the same results as actually working out.

I obviously prefer Theory #2, but if for some reason #1 is actually correct, will my bedroom intruder please make himself/herself known? We can have a slumber party instead, and braid each other's hair! Maybe even toss in a pillowfight, if you're lucky....

Purim Weekend Report

I'll start with Purim night, since that came first. After a lovely shabbos lunch by Joe, Gila, and the always adorable Adin, followed by a short walk, a few hours curled up on their loveseat, and then havdalah, Gila fitted me into her Professor McGonagall robe. Goodbye witch, hello leprechaun! I then raced home, bathed myself, changed into costume, and raced to shul. A few shots and a megillah reading later, I was on my way to the Chabad in Evanston, where I got to hear my buddy Velvel play in one of his 3 bands. All in all, a quality Purim night.

Purim day was probably even better, although the morning started a bit slow. But eventually, Velvel and Becky got me to WRP, where we heard what is quite possibly the best megillah reading possible (Yay, Matt Kanter!), passed around some shaloch manos, had a bissele liquor, and piled into the Veitur Bus.

The Veitur Bus was rockin'...literally. While I stayed fairly sober, some of my companions got fairly shickered, and sang so enthusiastically that the bus shook. It was wonderfully lebedig. A good time to be had by all.

The weekend ended with a concert at the Hothouse featuring the musical talents of Ra'ashan and the Rabbinical School Drop Outs. And then I went 'veitur' all the way to my bed. Time for schluffy.

Hava Narisha, RAASH, RAASH, RAASH!

It's Sing-Along Time! Let's get into that Purim spirit with one of the only Purim songs I remember from my day school years, which I can still play on the recorder! (Or could, if I ever find my recorder...)

Chag Purim, Chag Purim
Chag gadol la Yehudim.
Masechot v'raashanim, zemirot v'rakadim.

Hava narisha...raash, raash, raash!
Hava narisha...raash, raash, raash!
Hava narisha...raash, raash, raash!
Raash b'raashanim.

Chivalry? I Think It Died.

I was the lucky person this morning who got onto the bus right before the bus driver (or "bus operator" as they are now called) closed the doors. It was a tight squeeze, and I was on the last step, right up against the doors. The man who got on right before me was very solicitous and courteous, asking if I had enough room, etc. I said "yes," because at the time it was true. Besides, I don't take up much room, right?

Well, I guess he took that to mean he no longer had to be solicitous, because he proceeded to turn around, taking up almost all of my space, and open a newspaper. This meant that every time he needed to turn the page, I had to maneuver my head quickly, so as to avoid getting elbowed in the eye. I also had to crane my neck in a not so comfortable position.

And then there was the other guy on the stair above me, with the huge briefcase that was constantly digging into my ribs. The same guy who elbowed me in the nose, and didn't even apologize. I mean, I know I'm kinda little, but I'm not invisible!

What's the point of being courteous and solicitous to a woman, if you're just going to elbow her in the head five minutes later?

Got Purim?

It's almost that time of year again. The costumes are being fine-tuned, the hamentaschen are baking, and the seuda van is loading.

I love this chag. It's just so much fun to run around in silly costumes (and mine's fairly silly this year), eat jelly-filled cookies (mmm....hamentaschen), have a few l'chaims with friends, and just have fun. Though, I do have to admit that I will greatly be missing the Purim day festivities at Bais Abe, home of the cutest children and most wonderful families. But I got my seuda van crew, so I can't really complain.

I know what I'm dressing up as, but I'll give you two (2) choices for this survey:
1) What do you think I should dress up as?
2) What are you wearing?

And You Said It Couldn't Be Done!

Ok, maybe I said that...

Either way, I managed to accomplish a few things today, before 8:00am:
1) I went jogging
2) I ate breakfast
3) I showered
4) I made it out the door 10 minutes earlier than usual.
Now, the showering part I do regularly. But #1,2, and 4? I can't remember the last time I did those.

Now for today's real challenge: Becky promised me a truffle if I drank 64 oz of water today. As soon as I finish my coffee, let the challenge begin!

"Excuse me, sir...Did you drop your shoe?"

In conversation with Becky today, the phrase "waiting for the other shoe to drop" came up, and it started me thinking. Whose shoe is it? Why is he dropping it? And why are we waiting for him to drop it?

I Googled the phrase, hoping to find the answers to these vital questions. Alas, I could not find them. I found the alleged origin of the phrase (although even this is unconfirmed), but it still doesn't tell me whose shoe has been dropped. Or even what happened after he dropped the first one.

So many questions...

Survey Time!

Is "Spicy Chocolate" a better name for a band, or a porno?

You make the call...

It's official...

I work too much. Not only because by the time I got home from work last night, my number of works hours for the week had already reached 35, but because I actually dreamed about work on Tuesday night. And it was a bizarre dream. We sponsored an educational conference last night, which provided the backdrop for my dream...

I dreamt that I left the office early, for no reason whatsoever, and found myself walking around in a tank top and undies. So I decided to take the bus home, and get another outfit, because I had to be back at the office by 4pm in order to make it to the conference on time. But when I got on the bus, I realized that not only did I not have clothes, but I had no money or house keys with me. So I had no way of getting into my apartment, and no way of getting back to work. I got off the bus in the park, and as I was walking home, I encountered one of my colleagues, who said she was there to help me find some clothes. Together, we walked to my place, and ran into my brother talking to a friend on a street corner. He lent me his house keys, and so I was able to clothe myself. But by that time, it was after 4pm, and I was late. And then I woke up.