Saturday, August 28, 2004

Emotional Jet Lag

Yeah, that pretty much sums it up.

Due to work-related pressures and obligations, I've found myself shoved back into L.B.I. (Life Before Israel), and it's been somewhat brutal. I remember going through this a bit when I came back from Israel in January 2003, but it was far milder then, undoubtedly due to the fact that I had no job in those days. Logically, it should have been harder back then. After all, I had nothing in particular to come back to America for, so why bother coming back?

No, it's much harder this time. There are parts of my life in Chicago that I enjoy, and people that I love, yet there is a voice in my head saying "You came back for this?" And it's very, very difficult to ignore that voice.

So I do what I always do in such situations, when I find myself doing what I'd rather not be doing, or being where I'd rather not be...I dream about the day that I can be where I want, doing what I want to do. And I plan for a way to make it happen.

It took my body less than 24 hours to adjust to being back in Chicago, back on my working gal schedule. It's taking the rest of me much longer to catch up.

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

Getting Started

I finally have a few minutes of blog-time, and now I don't know where to begin. I'd originally thought that I'd post a day-by-day account of my trip, but that would take more time than I have, seeng as how it's taken me this long to post anything of "substance". And then there is the fact that my life is pressing forward, as life tends to do, so I have thoughts about things here in America that are blogable.

But I'll start with Israel. My trip was amazing, in every possible way. When I look at my pictures (which I got developed on the day I cam home), I'm reminded just how beautiful everything i Israel seems to be. The sky is a more vibrant blue, the trees are a deeper green, and the colors of the sunset are more brilliant, particularly when it sets over the impossibly blue waters of the Mediterranean. Strangely enough, you'd think that Chicago would seem duller and dabber by comparison, but in the 6 days that I've been home, I've realized that everything here now seems brighter and more vibrant than I'd previously recognized or noticed.

The two weeks were mostly spent just being in Israel, absorbing and relishing that unique and somewhat indescribable feeling of "right" that comes from just being there. Whether I was strolling along the beach, shopping in a shuk, having a drink with friends, davening at the Kotel, or simply findng a quiet spot to think and write and sigh over how happy I was, everything just felt right. I think Avi phrased it best: it's the only place where your neshama isn't yearning to be elsewhere.

So what did I do while I was there? That's the question everyone keeps asking, along wih "So, how was your trip?" The first question I find legitimate. The second seems a bit silly to me. How was my trip to Israel? Do they think I'm going to answer "Meh. It was alright" ? The question should be "How awesome was your trip?"

Since my bit of blog time is coming to an end, I'll answer the first question in brief. What did I do? I reminded myself of many things I had forgotten, about myself, the kind of person I want to be, and the kind of life I want to live. I remembered my priorities, and the things that are truly important in life. I laughed, I cried, I haggled (albeit poorly), I met up with old friends and made some wonderful new ones, I did nothing, and I did everything. How's that for starters?

Monday, August 23, 2004

Service Announcement

Blogging will be very slow for the foreseeable future. I know that I still have yet to post anything substantial since my return from the HL, and I will try to rectify that sometime tonight.

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

The Doctor Is In

That's right, folks, the wait is over. The drought has ended. The traveler has returned.

Did ya miss me?

Since I'm sure you're all curious about my trip, there will be many, many posts to come about what I did and where I was and what I was thinking at the time. But you may have to be a bit patient.

Just be content for now with the thought that Cara's World is once again open for business.