Tuesday, January 18, 2005

“Bad Stuff”

As promised, I will now begin to describe the bad “stuff” that has me preoccupied. It’s not a new situation, but it’s one that is getting progressively worse. Actually, I’ve alluded it to again and again. But, to keep it interesting, I will now present the chronicle of events in a slightly more artistic fashion, a la Cliff’s Notes.

Cast of Characters:
Blog
Mr. Collins
The Professional


Act One
Scene One: In Which The Primary Characters Meet
Mr. Collins approaches Blog one day, and says he wishes to become her friend. He emphasizes that he is not hitting on her. Blog knows that Mr. Collins is a very shy person who probably needs a friend, and agrees. Inwardly, Blog is relieved that Mr. Collins only wants friendship, because she knows immediately that she could never feel anything romantic for him.

Scene Two: In Which The Friendship Begins to Fail
Mr. Collins begins to call Blog on the telephone several evenings a week. He frequently calls to only say goodnight and then hang up. They occasionally meet and talk. The conversations are always very awkward and uncomfortable. Mr. Collins asks very personal questions, but does not divulge anything about himself. Blog finds herself screening his calls.

Scene Three: In Which Blog Begins to Worry
Mr. Collins verbally accosts Blog at her own birthday festivities. Blog asks Mr. Collins what he wants from her. She reminds him that he had asked her to be his friend and only his friend. She angrily tells Mr. Collins that both his questions and his timing are inappropriate.

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