Alive N'Kicking

I still haven't figured out whether to keep this thing, or let it moulder in the blogosphere, but for the time being, I feel like posting. My life is so very different from where it was when I last posted in January. I graduated, got a job, got married.

The job part pretty much sucks, and I'm looking for a new one after 4 months, but the marriage part is wonderful. Even my mother says I'm almost like a different version of myself now, noticeably happier. I don't really like the notion that I was noticeably unhappy before, but when people now tell me that I glow, I believe them.

So, while I figure out what direction to take this blog (and I'm open to suggestions), if anyone still reads this, they can rest assured that I'm happily married and doing phenomenally well.

T-186 Days

Yay! Step One of Wedding Planning is complete.

We'll be getting married, IM'H, on August 17, 2008. We have the location reserved, and can now begin filling in all the other details. Like caterers, band, flowers, dress, invitations, benchers...

Actually, it's already feeling less stressful. Just having one detail finally pinned down (and by finally, I mean a whole 2 weeks after getting engaged) feels like we're moving forward. That, and I'm blessed to be engaged to a man who can communicate. We're both learning quickly how to help the other cope with stress in ways that don't increase our own stress.

I'm on a roll. If it weren't so frigidly cold outside, I'd go leap tall buildings in a single bound...

Twelve Days of Engagement

I've always considered myself a fairly stable person, emotionally speaking. I experience ups and downs, strikes and gutters, just like anyone else, but I feel like I generally manage to maintain an emotional balance.

And then I got engaged.

It's been 12 days since the day H-Bomb went from boyfriend to fiance, and I cannot even begin to count how many different times my emotions, thoughts and perceptions about the wedding (read: wedding planning) have flipped, spun, tied themselved into tangled knots of confusion, and done impressive gymastic moves inside my head. There are a moments when I optimistically believe that I can single-handedly plan my wedding without mortgaging either my soul or my first-born child (which I think I may have already pledged to my alma mater anyway). And then there are moments when a cold, harsh reality comes crashing down, and I begin to think that it is impossible. There don't seem to be that many in-between moments. They might be there, but they get so overshadowed by the extreme highs and lows that I can't be certain.

H-Bomb (and he will need a new nickname, but I can't think of one yet. Or, to be more honest, I can't think of one that I'm willing to post online) and I are both in agreement that we do not want our engagement to be 6 months of Supreme Suckiness. We both recognize that it won't always go smoothly, but we would like to be able to enjoy this period of anticipation. It is supposed to be a simcha, right?

So far, the one thinkg I've learned is this: do not start discussing wedding plans when one or both of you is running on an empty stomach. Do any of you wise, married folks out there have any real advice or suggestions on how to make engagement less sucky? (And by "real advice", I do realize that I've just rejected the immediate responses from just about anyone who graduated from OTI. Sorry guys.)

Happiest of Happies and Most Joyful of Joys

By now, most of the people who still read this thing will already have heard. But, for those of you who have not (and you're not that behind the times, as it's been just about 24 hours)...

I'm getting married.

I'll try to post more soon, as I will most likely need a place to express my whirling thoughts on engagements and wedding plans. At the moment, I'm so excited and so eager to hit the ground running that I wouldn't even know what to post. For the ladies, I'll try to post the proposal story. For the gents...sorry guys. This just became wedding central.

And just because it's so much fun to write and read:

I'm getting married! I'm getting married! I'm getting married!

Welcome to the Jungle

I'd meant to blog more humorous posts, in the aftermath of my great and hilarious weekend in Toronto. I'd meant to post sooner. But for the past few days, my mind has been occupied by a totally unanticipated and unfunny situation in my shul. Despite my deep dislike of shul politics, I've found myself smack dab in the middle of it.

The Background
The shul General Meeting, during which new board members are elected, will take place in a couple of weeks. In past years, the number of nominees has been exactly the same as the number of open slots. According to the shul by-laws, additional candidates can be nominated by petitions receiving a requisite number of signatures. A current board member circulated petitions adding three additional nominees to the slate. This year, therefore, there are more candidates than positions, meaning that some of those running for re-election may not win.

What Does This Have To Do With You?
I am one of the three additional candidates. I did not ask to be nominated (although I am honored to now be on the slate), so I really had nothing to do with the petitions.

No, Really...What Does This Have To Do With You?
One of the other nominees sent out an email to members of the community directly attacking me. He indicated that I was somehow trying to stage a coup and pull the board "to the right", and that I was the ringleader of this plot to add myself and "two of my friends" to the slate. He implied that I am immature, and lack commitment to the shul. He didn't even mention the other two write-ins by name. It was just about "Cara and her friends".

What?
Yeah, that's what I said. It was an unwarranted, unprovoked attack. Don't ask me why he chose to single me out, because I honestly do not know. I don't even know who he sent his email of lies to initially- I only received it after it had been forwarded to those who thought I should know what was being said about me.

What Happened Next?
I immediately wrote to this individual, calmly and maturely defending myself against his accusations. The rabbi and shul president were copied on that email. One of the other maligned write-in candidates also wrote to him, copying the entire shul board on the letter, asking that the three of us be given a public apology.

It's now been two days since I sent my reply. I've received private replies from the rabbi, the president, and various members of the board, all of whom have sympathized with me and distanced themselves from him. The only public reaction has been a letter sent to all board nominees, offering us a chance to write position statements that will be sent out before the election.

There has still been no apology, or response of any kind, from the person responsible for sending out lies and insults.

Wedding Dance Mix- Limited Time Only!

Having never had to plan my own wedding, I can't speak from personal experience about the weird phenomena that are DJs and wedding bands. However, I have been to many weddings, and noticed that whenever secular music is played, there are always selections that I find odd, inappropriate, or downright disturbing. Sometimes insider information reveals that these questionable musical melodies (maladies?) have actually been chosen by the bride, groom, or family members who could not be refused. Other times, it seems as though the DJ or band has abused their authority or whimsically added to the play list. An example of the latter scenario would be when the band opted to play "Brown Sugar" during a secular dance set. I guess nothing is more romantic than a master taking advantage of his slave girl.

Recently I attended a wedding where it seemed that practically every secular song played was questionable. To protect the innocent, we will say that this wedding took place in a city called "Sporonto". The medley included:

* I Will Survive- a romantic solo about getting over the man who screwed you up for so long and not letting him back in your life. Key lyrics include: "I should have changed my stupid lock/ I should have made you leave your keys/ if I had known for just one second you'd be back to bother me" and "I'm not that chained up little person/still in love with you".

* Bad Bad Leroy Brown- this soulful ditty tells the story of a man who gets his ass kicked for hitting on another man's wife in a bar. Is this meant to be a reminder for the wedding guests? "Hey, fellas, you see the pretty girl in the long white dress? She's married now, scumbag! Stay away!" And is the groom supposed to be Leroy, or the guy who beats Leroy? (Note: This song is also great for simcha dancing! Separate, of course.)

* Build Me Up Buttercup- sure, this one sounds upbeat and cheerful. Perfectly appropriate for a song about a dysfunctional, one-sided relationship. Key lyrics include: "Why do you build me, Buttercup baby/ just to let me down/ and mess me around" and "Although you're untrue/ I'm attracted to you all the more".

Here's your opportunity to weigh in and offer up suggestions for the Inappropriate Wedding Songs Compilation CD. This item not sold in stores.

In the House of J-Smoov

After giving in to the overwhelming requests from my dubious Canadian fan-base, I find myself sitting in front of a computer late at night, feeding their egos by "being brutally honest" and telling them what I think of them. Really, it's J-Smoov who wants the shout out, and wants to be publically known
in my world by the aforementioned code name.

Honestly, it's a lot of pressure. I mean, it's hard to be funny on demand. For me, at least.

However, there are a few things I can say with certainty:

* Gustav and Javier are great names for Jewish boys.
* The best way to make someone feel comfortable in a room full of strangers is to sit in complete silence and stare at her when she walks in.
* Gaby looks amazing in tights. Great legs. I mean, we're talking phenomenal.
* It's very easy to be accepted if you start making jokes about H-Bomb's weight and the amount of food he can consume (see postscript)
* It's very easy to be accepted if you start making fun of H-Bomb. Period.

There will, of course, be more to come. But if I don't post something soon, some of H-Bomb's friends will wear themselves out by all the constant running to the computer to see if I've posted.

Postscript: H-Bomb is not, in fact, fat. There's just a lot of him to love.

Oh, Canada

I realize that it's been nearly a month since I last posted about not having anything to post about. Obviously, not much has changed. There have been moments where a potential topic flits through my brain, but there really just hasn't been time to flesh it out, type it up, and post.

I mostly blame H-Bomb for this. In a good way, of course. Since I've been so happy with my life over the past few months, I have nothing to kvetch about. And since I'm nowhere near sick of his company, I'd rather hang out with him than sit in front of my computer and blog.

But really, I think it's more of the first reason. Even things that habitually bothered me in the past, like stupid shul politics, don't rile me up to the point where I need to use this forum to vent. If something does happen that gets under my skin, I can vent to him, and it instead becomes a conversation instead of a frustrated rant. If I'm grumpy or cranky about anything, he magically knows how to make it all better. So, in effect, he may be the best thing that ever happened to me, and the worst thing to ever happen to this blog.

In other news, I am excited to meet many of his friends this weekend in Toronto. And if any of their wives happen to know of a decent place to get a pedicure on Sunday before Eli's wedding, I'd appreciate the feedback. My normal places were all mysteriously closed today. And does anyone know if the kosher gluten-free pizza place is still open?

Why I Don't Spell My Name With A 'K'

Props to H-Bomb (or, more specifically, to his friends who went in search of my blog and mispelled my name) for discovering the truly bizarre and disturbing rants of Kara.

Her world scares me. I'll stay here in mine.

Blogging is Not for Happy People

For some strange reason, the most interesting blog posts (and blogs in general) tend to be about something controversial or the trials and tribulations of life. There are so many blogs out there that are full of posts pointing out what's wrong in the political arena (domestic or international), what's wrong with religion (pick your god and/or denomination...there's a blog for you!), what's wrong with the blogger's life, or what's wrong with everyone else in the blogger's life. The major exception to this is, of course, Trep's blog, which manages to balance the good, the bad, the annoying, and the interesting.

The obstacle that this currently poses for this blog is that I'm happy. In the past handful of months, there've been some posts about shul-related frustrations, but that's really been the only irritant that might be of interest to others. I could post about why my classes aren't very satifactory this semester, but who would really care? I have a loving family, fabulous friends, a great boyfriend, an amazing internship...there's really nothing to kvetch about. It makes for a great life, but a terrible blog.

So, to those of you who actually read this, I'm open to suggestions for post topics. I'm coming up empty.

Polling Places Now Closed

Props to the very few people who read this and offered suggestions for the boyfriend's blog name. I thank you for your suggestions, and have decided not to go with any of them. I would particularly like to thank Anonymous Sibling's anonymous boyfriend (also known as Jeremy).

I am now bestowing upon my wonderful boyfriend the codename "H-Bomb". The reason for this is simply that this is the very silly name he likes to use when singing karaoke, and Karaoke Wednesdays were a strong contributing factor to his reeling me in over the course of the summer.

And for those who are fascinated by my love life (or the fact that I suddenly have one), I can honestly say that after spending the entire chag-filled month of Tishrei together, I am still not tired of H-Bomb's company. More amazingly, he isn't sick of me either. And really, at this stage of a relationship, what more could you ask for?

Name That Boyfriend!

The boyfriend needs a codename. I'm giving you all a chance to make suggestions.

For any OTI alumni in the audience, please note that 'Doughboy' is already banned from the list of possibilities.

Didn't See That One Coming...

At first, I could not figure out for the life of my why one of the visits to my world came from a Google search for "shoe repair dog teeth marks". I mean, it's better than some of the other weird searches that I can imagine, but it was still a puzzler.

So I did what anyone else would do...I opened a new page, went to Google, and performed the same search. I'm actually the 10th result (out of 851,000)! Turns out it links to an old post about my brother's dog eating a pair of much-loved black sandals last summer. Not nearly as bizarre or noteworthy as I had hoped.

Follow the Gourd! The Holy Gourd!

I just wanted to wish you all a chag sameach. I found myself suddenly really looking forward to sukkos, and filled with nostalgic memories about sukkah decorating as a child (and an adolescent, and an adult).

I always enjoyed the hanging gourds. No idea why. I just think they're funny, in a happy way.

Anyway, a gut yontiv to all.

A "Big" Goodbye

This will most likely be my last thought on the Big vs. Aidan toss-up, because there is no contest anymore. I'm so happy with "Aidan" that is really places the entire dramatic saga with "Big" in a new perspective.

The reason I'm putting up this last one is because I noticed today that "Big" no longer lists himself as single on Facebook, and I wasn't remotely jealous. In fact, I'm kinda proud of him. I was undoubtedly as wrong for him as he has proven himself to be for me, and I'm glad he seems to have grown up enough to commit to a woman. I hope that also means he'll treat her better than he treated me. If he's willing to stop seeing other women, it's already a start.

The flip side of that is that I had actually found out from someone else that he had begun seeing this woman, and that he had started seeing her by the time I told him about "Aidan". The fact that he and I are supposed to be friends, and he didn't bother telling me that he was seeing someone as well was perhaps the final nail in the coffin. It made it so crystal clear to me that I simply have no patience left with his inability to communicate (or, alternatively, our differing opinions on what is important to communicate about). After all, if I've already acknowledged to being with someone, why should it matter? Particularly since "Aidan" and I went to his bday party the following week, and he was physically demonstrative with his new girl. Had I not already known of her existence, I'd have been very surprised, and therefore hurt. Not jealous, but hurt that our "friendship" didn't matter enough for him to give me a heads-up. I guess I'm still slightly peeved about it, but I just shrug and say "Typical". Because it is typical for him.

So this is a public farewell to my personal Mr. Big. As I hope we maintain our friendship, he may still potentially be referred to here in Cara's World. He just no longer has the same codename, as he no longer plays that role in my life.