Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Holy Wing Girl, Batman!

The following is an actual advertisement that I saw about 30 seconds ago in a local Chicago paper. I was simply looking for part-time job opportunities, along the tutoring or waitressing lines.

Sorry to the guy who wrote this, but it's just too funny not to share:

Here's the deal: I don't want to date you, have sex with you or even kiss or hug you.

I want you to hang out with me at bars and talk me up to other girls so I break the ice with them. Whenever I'm out with females, random girls feel so much more comfortable in talking to me.

The only requirements are that you are attractive and personable. Age doesn't even matter, so long as you're over 21. I'm 27, 5'9, 135 lb; but even having an attractive confident 40 yr old talking me up would be superb.

If you like, I'll give you my cellphone number and home address so you know my details; but I don't need to even know your last name. We'll arrange by email or cellphone to meet in a bar, and at the end of it I'll pay you $45/hr. In addition to this, if I meet a girl through you who I end up going on at least 5 dates with, I'll give you $1000.

If there's anything I can do to make you more comfortable in doing this, I'm all open to ideas. Obviously I'll pay for all drinks, tips, meals, concert tickets, etc.


I placed a very similar ad to the one above about a month ago. I got about 90 responses, interviewed about 30 of them, and eventually chose 6 to actually go out with. 3 of them I used only once, and am now down to 2 who I think are effective.

Both of my current winggirls have very hectic lifestyles, and I can only go out once a week between them. Although I haven’t found my soulmate, I’ve met lots of girls through going out with them. I’m therefore looking for 2-4 more winggirls, so that I can go out 2 or 3 times a week during the summer.

Anyone think I should apply? Bueller? Bueller?

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