Just What I've Always Wanted

A shady-looking Israeli who writes bad poetry.

Luckily, I have a wonderful friend like Becky, who promised to give him to me as a Valentine's Day gift. I wonder if he comes with his own camel, on which we can ride together into the sunset. The sunset, and my beauty, will then be described in hackneyed phrases and worn-out cliches and posted on eBay for all to read.

**UPDATE**
2/2/05, 11:20 - The bidding is up to $8.50. Do I hear $9.00?
2/2/05, 11:45 - There appears to be a little bit of confusion (ahem, DB and his readers...). The reigning queen of Cara's World (a.k.a. me) is not one of those bidding on Nir the Psychic Poet. He's not really my type. While I don't mind scruffy, I do have problems with oily (Particularly oily in the manner of Prince Formerly Known As the Artist Formerly Known As Prince). And while I have a weakness for men who make me laugh, it's probably not a good thing if I'm laughing at his attempts to be romantic. I also have my reservations about men who advertise their services on eBay. I guess I'm just picky like that. However, the Cara's World News Team will continue to monitor this situation as a classic example of PWSSSTIA.
2/3/05, 13:05 - In 26 hours, the price has almost quadrupled. It's up to $31 now, and there are still over 7 days left for this auction. (I once spent around $31 on a date, but that was because the guy taking me out hadn't brought enough to cover the bill. We didn't go out again, for several reasons)
2/4/05, 12:15 - We're up to $51 dollars. If he manages to stay at this pace of around $20/day, he'll make it to around $170 by the time this ends. Any predictions?
2/6/05, 13:53 - Sometime over shabbos, the eBay auction for this Luv Machine was cancelled. Perhaps the Powers that Be over at eBay didn't want their website being used for an international escort service. Can't imagine why. Clearly there's a market for sketchy guys who write bad poems and travel the world just to give a rose to one lucky lady. After all, there isn't anything in this world that some idiot won't shell out money for.