Sometimes I wonder how it's possible that it's only been two years since my grandmother died. Other times I feel that the past two years have been an eternity. Either way, here I am, two years later, writing this post on her yahrzeit. Last year I spoke at seudah shlishit, and ended up crying in front of everyone. This year I knew better than to try speaking again. Time may heal all wounds, but grief is another story.
My grandmother, Lisl Nussbaum, a"h, was- and in many ways continues to be- the single most important person in my world. She was an Eishet Chayil in every sense, and my role model of all that is good and generous. Life did not deal her an easy hand: she lost her father when she was only 13, had to be married in secret, her husband was forbidden to practice law 3 months after they married, her first child was a stillborn, gave birth to my uncle one week after arriving in Yerushalayim, fled the Arab riots to become a refugee yet again...and this is only the merest glimpse of some of the difficulties she experienced in the course of her very long life. She possessed a remarkably quiet kind of strength, for she never saw herself as anything remarkable. Throughout her entire life, she was committed to her family, to her community, and to Hashem. Yiddishkeit, frumkeit, and acts of chesed were simply part of who she was. I should grow to be half the woman that she was. If Hashem places malachim on this earth to walk among us, I can easily believe that she was one of them.
It's hard for me to illustrate in a blog post just how amazing a person she was, or how much she had shaped who I've become. Suffice to say, having her in my life, and having the extraordinary relationship that we had, has been the single greatest bracha that Hashem has given me.
May her memory forever be a blessing.
El maleh rachamim shochen bam'romim, hamtzey menuchah nechonah tachat kanfey haschechinah, bema'alot kedoshim ute'horim, kezohar harakiya, mazhirim et nishmat Limut bat Yehuda Zvi shehalchah le'olamah, ba'avur sh'hanechdah nadav litz'dakah, b'ad hazkarat nishmatah, lachen ba'al harachamim yastireha, b'seter k'nafav le'olamim, v'yitzror bitzror hachayim et nismatah, Adonai hu nachalatah, v'tanuach b'shalom al mishkavah, v'nomar amen.