Wednesday, February 18, 2004

Office Etiquette 101

The Coffee Maker is a sacred object. It pours forth that life-giving substance known in this dimension as "Caffeine." Some of us rely on this substance to help our brain cells function for a full day of staring at a computer screen.

Office coffee must be hot. Not lukewarm, and certainly not cold. The longer it sits in the little pot, and the colder it gets, the more sludge-like it becomes. The reason for this could undoubtedly be explained by some scientist with too much time on his hands. I'm not concerned with the reason. I simply know this to be true. It is also true that office coffee, by nature, tastes bad. Similar to how opening bands (unless they happen to be Ra'ashan or Farbrengiton) have a tendency to suck. It's just the way of the world, I suppose.

Therefore, there is no reason to not put on the warmer underneath the coffee pot. We all know it won't keep the coffee genuinely hot, but it will keep the worst of the sludginess at bay. I'm pretty sure that failure to keep the warmer on is an offense punishable by death in Texas.

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