Monday, May 03, 2004

Weekend Report

A strange thing has happened to me in the past two weeks...I found my social life. I guess it had been hiding under the sofa, playing with dust bunnies, and finally decided to come back out into the sunlight. I guess it went a little bonkers in the Land Beneath the Sofa, though, because it's noticeably crazier than it was when it went into hiding. Still, I learned some valuable lessons from my crazy Social Life this past weekend:

1) IF you need to be somewhere at 7:30AM on a Sunday morning, which requires waking up no later than 6AM, THEN you should not go out on Saturday night.
2) IF you decide to go out on Saturday night, despite your mother's advice to refrain, THEN you should come home no later than midnight.
3) IF you stay out later than midnight, THEN you should at least be cold sober. At the very least, you should not share 9 bottles of sake among 7 friends until 2AM. And then split another bottle and a half of wine with a friend between the hours of 2-5AM.
4) IF you, very stupidly, decide to go out, THEN you should set your alarm before you leave your apartment. Or else, when you come home at 5AM, you run the risk of setting the clock an hour ahead, so that the alarm never goes off at the right time. And then you wake up at 10:30, thinking its 11:30 and knowing that you are very, very late for something important.

I think this weekend can be summed up with one word:


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