Sunday, October 03, 2004

The A-Train Has Left The Station

It's a bittersweet weekend here in Cara's World. My wonderful friend Avi is, at this very moment, on an airplane bound for the HL. It's a one-way trip. I am, of course, excited for and proud of him for going, because he's following his heart and his dream. And what more could one want for someone they love? I'm also sad that he's no longer here in Chicago. And incredibly jealous, because he's doing what I've only managed to talk about.

The Israelis have no idea how lucky they are. Avi is an amazing, inspiring person. If I didn't think it would embarrass him, I'd start listing the many qualities that make him so phenomenal. It would also turn this post into the Great American Novel, because that list is endless. I have much to be grateful for, and having Avi in my life is way up there. He's truly a gift from Hashem.

I've never really been very good with goodbyes of any kind. Someone who means a great deal to me is no longer nearby, and I miss him already. Missing a friend in Israel is acceptable. Being sad because of the void left in my life in Chicago seems selfish. After all, I hope to leave before 5765 comes to an end. How can I justifiably be sad, simply because he left first? How can I let myself cry and be gloomy over something that is making him so happy? Should my friends stay and bury their own needs and dreams just for my sake? That's absurd.

So, since I refuse to be selfish, I've come up with a solution: I did not say goodbye. The last hug and wave as he left for the airport simply didn't mean goodbye. Goodbye is so final. Goodbye is depressing. Instead, that hug and wave meant "Lehitraot". IM"H, we'll see each soon, and the next hug will be in Israel.

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