Friday, October 22, 2004

Luke Ford Has Good Timing

"He's just not that into her."

Yep, that's what I read on Protocols today. Coincidence? Probably. But it still gives this single blog a chance to rant and rave some more on her new favorite theme.

Luke cites a remark of Dr. Janice D. Bennett, relationship coach, which ends with the amazing (and insulting) comment that "Coaching is the only solution to help healthy singles figure out how to finally get themselves married." Coaching? You've got to be kidding me!

There are plenty of us healthy singles out there who do not need "coaching" to help us figure out "how to get [ourselves] married." We know how to get married. You start by giving up on the guys who aren't into you enough to date you. Then you go find someone who is that into you.

Luke ends his post by saying that "smart men realize that they are more attractive to women if they are not too available". I pondered this for a few seconds. Is it true? Do we really find men more attractive if they're not too available?

I think Luke is wrong. (Shocking, I know.) In my own life, the men who make it clear that they are available to me are most often men that I'm not interested in for myriad other reasons. Their availability is not why I'm not attracted. Sure, that whole chase thing is fun at first. Nothing that's easily had is worth having, right? But if he's stays too unavailable, it stops being fun. He stops being so attractive, and you and your gal pals stop referring to him as "Captain Wonderful" and start referring to him as "Captain Can't Dial A Phone". In other words, once you start making us doubt whether you're that into us or not, we stop being quite so into you.

"Smart" men may know that not being too available can initially make them seem more attractive. But smart women don't waste their time on guys who play The Game that way.

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