There are about fifteen things that I have racing through my head, all of which I want to post about. Yet finding a way to talk about any one of them is proving surprisingly difficult. So I suppose I'll start with topics floating in the Blogosphere, and then make my way back into the reality that isn't virtual.
MOChassid posted a description of the Chicago Chevrah, which I just read this morning. It's always surprising to read what others think of you. Particularly in this case, when MO-C and I have never actually met, but only traded comments through the Blogosphere. On one hand, it shouldn't matter what someone that I've never met happens to think of me. Yet MO-C's description made me smile, and made me happy.
There was one word in particular that jumped out at me, because it relates to something that has been on my mind a lot in the past week or so. He called me "sweet". Since most of my posts tend to be focused on the mundane absurdities that I come across, I didn't think that the 'softer' side of my nature would show at all. Sometimes I worry that it doesn't even come out in conversation much anymore.
At a sheva brachos meal last night, a female friend (yes, I do have them) told me I was too young to be so cynical. It made me stop and think. Am I cynical about romance and relationships? In actuality, no. Yet, given my sarcastic comments, which are normally mistaken for wit, I'm not surprised that I come across as cynical. I'm not sure how to remedy this. At what point do the defense mechanisms and walls that we build become so effective that others can no longer see past them? (And why does writing this post make me feel so much like Carrie Bradshaw?)